Often it can feel like the whole weight of the world is resting on your shoulders and it’s only a matter of time until you get crushed under it. Problems upon problems pile on top of each other and all of a sudden, you are in an overwhelming state of anxiety and exhaustion that hinders you from doing… well, anything.
That is exactly what happened to me last year. Some pretty huge life changes hit me all at once; I lost a close family member and simultaneously went through what the Internet tells me is called post-graduation depression. Everything was stacking up; I was grieving and felt an enormous and terrifying amount of pressure to have it all figured out the second I was handed my Bachelor’s degree (…which I didn’t).
All of these life events left me in a state of feeling so overwhelmed that it felt impossible to do anything. I was trapped in a paralyzing mental prison where even menial tasks seemed like mountains I would never be able to overcome. To put it simply – I felt pretty damn overwhelmed with my whole life.
Steps to getting your inner peace back
☯︎ As always, I’d love to hear from you and your experiences – have you ever been in a state of feeling utterly overwhelmed? If so, what helped you to get out of it? ☯︎
Take an emotional time-out
Like a lot of other people, I (gladly) abstained from going on holiday last summer. Yet I missed the excitement of discovering a new place, of getting lost while aimlessly wondering around and of spending a few days of pure, relaxed fun surrounded by the people I love. So when one of my best friends and I hung out for a weekend, we were determined to recreate just that…. at home, in our own city. So we did. And let me tell you, it worked wonders and left me feeling more balanced and at peace again.
We went to the supermarket and splurged on all of the fancy items we had always wanted to try. We made a brunch reservation at a cafe we had been dying to go to. We put on our best outfits and visited spots that had been on our lists for ages, wondered around and practiced our street photography skills, went from one book shop to another, bought book souvenirs and walked around parks whilst eating overpriced ice cream. At night we made bruschetta, drank gin&tonics and played Scrabble.
It was the perfect weekend escape – one that I will always hold close to my heart. For in the first time that felt like forever, I was present in the moment again: enjoying little things, laughing without a care in the world and cracking bad jokes with my friend. I truly felt as though I was on holiday – a vacation from my own life and the worries that had been weighing on me. That weekend granted me the emotional time-out I didn’t know I needed so badly.
Express your feelings
It’s important to express how the issues weighting on you are making you feel. What are you feeling? How have your worries been affecting you and your life? What are you afraid of? Try discussing this with a close friend or family member; Someone who will truly listen.
I found that by discussing these things with close friends, I was able to get a large chunk of worries off of my chest whilst reflecting on why I felt the way I did. What I learnt is that it’s okay to seek out emotional support during difficult times. In fact, it is essential. Often, an outside perspective is needed in order for us to see our issues in a different light. Expressing how you feel can be a release in itself – and doing this in the company of a loved one or close friend can provide a sense of comfort and reassurance.
Reevaluate the issues weighing on you
Sometimes it’s necessary to take a hard and long look at your life and to break it down into simple list items. What has been weighing on you? What are the fears or thoughts that have been making it hard for you to get tasks done? What has brought you joy recently or made you feel proud of yourself? What are some of your recent accomplishments? No matter how small these items may seem, include them.
I recommend writing all of this down as a means to add a visual dimension to the good and the bad. What I found is that there were far more positive items than I had expected. These ranged from bigger accomplishments like receiving my degree to smaller ones like learning how to sew, spending more time with my family and finding joy and excitement through cooking and baking new recipes.
It’s the little things, I’m telling you. At the time, they may seem insignificant or non-important but they can also produce the biggest smiles. It is important that we recognize these moments and appreciate them. They can prop us up even when we feel like we are about to fall.
Start small
…and celebrate BIG! It’s time to start being proactive instead of reactive. Break down the tasks you need to accomplish into smaller steps. Start with some smaller tasks and be sure to treat yourself when you accomplish them.
What helped me tremendously was visualizing my tasks so that my progress and accomplishments could be tracked more easily. You can do this by simply checking off an item from your TO-DO list or using visual board tools such as Trello (read more about how I use Trello here). By doing this, your tasks will seem more manageable and you will start to feel like you are accomplishing things again.
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Sticky Situation 
I can definitely relate to the feeling of being so overwhelmed it feels paralyzing. these tips are wonderful. i wish i had any useful advice, but for me the only thing that really helps me get over it is the fact i literally have to. most of my stresses over the past year (good old covid!) have been financial so it’s very much been a case of “okay yep gotta do it to pay rent” LOL. Glad you’re back, Fiona – that mini at-home holiday sounds wonderful x
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Not a feeling that I’m happy about people relating – but there’s an odd sense of comfort in knowing that you’re not alone with certain struggles. Sorry to hear about your worries over the past year (money can be such a HUGE stressor) but I think your approach shows how much inner strength you have in you. Keep going!!
And glad to be back! Hope you’ve been doing well x
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It’s wonderful to have you back Fiona. Your meaningful and thought provoking writing has definitely been missed in this community!
Overwhelm is a horrible feeling because it pulls you into this state of stagnancy and confusion that is so all consuming. You can feel like a black hole that can’t help but suck in shit sometimes and that’s never pleasant! I always find that a good old emotional release is best first and foremost. I like to deal with my natural reactions and then go from that as I see where it takes me.
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Glad to be back! Thank you for your kind-hearted words, they are greatly appreciated.
A state of stagnancy that is all consuming – you put it perfectly. And emotional release is so important – I really like your method, thank you for sharing! I am definitely a person who tends to hold it all in, so sometimes a little reminder that it is OKAY to feel the way you do and that you should let yourself feel the way you do is so, so valuable.
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Of course! It’s a very human place to find yourself in and I can very much empathise. Life is so non linear in how it can see us grow and evolve but also revert back to stages that we thought were left in the past. Letting yourself feel what you will is incredibly empowering. It does require some surrender and letting go but it’s always worth it.
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I am definitely guilty of being someone who feels overwhelmed at times and as such, will retreat into a little ball alone in my room, which is not usually the best solution for my problems! I would definitely recommend talking to friends and family that you trust and who you know will offer good advice – a problem shared is a problem halved after all. xx
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I know that all too well – it’s easy to get sucked into that feeling so intensely that it becomes a state you can’t seem to get out of. Sharing those feelings can definitely help so, so much and is an emotional release in itself. An understanding and comforting support network truly is invaluable xx
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Sending you so much love Fiona 💞 I relate to this so much because everything in life overwhelms me to the point where I feel like I’m just not cut out for it at times, everything swallows me whole and it’s all just a bit too much. These are some great tips and I have missed your writing so much. So glad you’re back, thinking of you .xxx
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Excellent advice! I especially like the idea of writing it all down to give a visual dimension of the good and bad.
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Thank you mags! Us humans are such visual creatures, it’s crazy how much can be put into perspective when you see it right in front of you.
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Right back at you, Chlo! ❤ I have definitely felt like I am not quite cut out for it all too – at times that feeling has been all-consuming. But just like anything else, it's important to find strategies and methods that can calm you down and make you feel like you are in control in those situations. I have missed you too, hope you're doing well xxx
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Ahh I love this post Fiona! And I love these tips – I think especially after being in lockdown for majority of 2020, I’ve lost my capacity to keep going for long stretches of time without feeling overwhelmed or worn out. I’m figuring out a few tips and ways to bounce myself back but honestly just taking time out and allowing myself to literally do nothing without feeling bad has been the best thing. I’ve been a bit absent as well but it’s so lovely to read your words again gal xo
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Thank you Priya! I hope you’ve had a lovely start to the new year. I think this continuous on/off lockdown situation has taken its toll on all of us. It’s easy to feel so out of control and stuck when our environment is stagnant in so many ways. I love what you wrote about taking time and just doing nothing without guilt- sometimes that’s so needed, just to….exist without guilt or worries. But it can be so hard too! I’ve started to create routines for myself that get me into that mindset and help me let go for a while but it’s definitely still a process. We’re all learning and dealing with so much in these uncertain times and I think it’s important to remember to not be so hard on ourselves. I hope you remember that too x
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This is the second time I’ve come back to read this post because honestly, it is such solid advice. At this moment, I feel extremely full of love for you and your writing, Fiona! Thank you for sharing the loveliest posts always!
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That makes me so happy to hear! Thank you for such kind and encouraging words, Arshia. Hope you’re doing well?
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What a wise article darling. 💗
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Thank you so much Sabina! Hope you’re keeping well 🤗
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Yes, can’t complaint darling💗🌸have a great weekend 🥰
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