Summer is over and so is education as I know it. I am moving on to uni in exactly one week which is a terrifying yet exciting prospect. In my post Turning a new page I talked about the anticipation, the fear of what’s to come and choosing my own path. Now that I have completed my finals and have officially graduated from high school, uni awaits me. Because of all of the change that is about to hit me, I decided to start a series called “the education diary”. It is dedicated to exploring my experiences with school / uni and documenting my future.
How am I feeling right now?
Excited. Anxcious. Pumped. Scared shitless.
University is unknown ground for me and a big step into adulthood / establishing some sort of independence, as I will be living by myself for the first time. It is a small flat which is located just outside the campus. It’s not the nicest thing in the whole world, but it will have to do. I am looking forward to decorating the flat and making it my own. Hopefully I will be able to feel at home there. Packing up my life is harder than expected. I find myself clinging on to things a little too hard at the moment. Other than that, I have been writing lists of things I need to pack, lists of things I need to buy and lists of things I have to get done before the semester starts. I already feel all of this responsibility creeping up on me – at times I feel like I’m being suffocated. So much to do, so little time.
Finding new friends
I have spent countless nights laying awake, trying to picture my life starting September. A huge fear of mine is that I won’t “click” with any new people on campus or in the same classes. I can be very shy and reserved when I don’t know anyone. I am scared that people will be able to sense that, thinking I don’t want to be approached. I am completely starting over; it feels like my very first day of school again where little six-year old me was anxiously standing in a corner, waiting for someone to come up to me, too afraid of going up to people myself. I guess that I just don’t want to be alone. As much as I love my friends and family, they won’t be there. And I am already starting to miss them, even though I haven’t moved out yet.
Leaving childhood behind
As much as I am looking forward to embarking on this new adventure, there is a little sadness in me. It feels like I am departing from my “old life”, leaving it (and my loved ones) behind. A part of me doesn’t know what to expect – a side of me wants to know, another doesn’t. I believe that the hardest aspect for me will be taking the plunge. Once I am settled in, I am confident that everything will be okay. In truth, it’s the “figuring things out” – stage that I am worried about. The unknown is scary.
Creating new memories
Above all, I just want to live my life to the fullest. Besides all of the work that is about to become my life, I still want to have fun. I want to go out and do new things, I want to meet new people, I want to make mistakes and not give a shit. I want this to be the time that I look back on fondly later in life thinking “damn my life was great“. I am looking forward to posting follow-ups about my life at university and hope that you stick around for them.