Especially now that I have (for the most part) moved out from home, I have been faced with a lot of tasks that I never really did by myself back when living with my parents.
Apart from general things like grocery shopping, doing laundry or other menial tasks, I now find myself actually spending time by myself when it comes to things like going out to eat, going shopping or hanging out in town. Just a year ago I felt a lot of anxiety when even thinking about having to do something on my own. The thought of going to the cinema by myself or visiting a museum by myself was terrifying to me. I always wanted someone there to make me feel… safe, I guess.
It took quite some time until I was comfortable with being by myself. Take eating at a restaurant alone for example; I was so anxious the whole time I did that for the first time, I barely even enjoyed the food. What helped me were baby steps. I started by going to more casual restaurants / cafés and listening to music or reading a book. When I was in the middle of learning for finals, I started to go out to cafés a lot to work and study there, as I felt I needed to get out of the house. The more I went, the less daunting the experience was.
Now I frequently visit the museums and exhibitions that intrigue me by myself. The pressure of convincing somebody to go with me has completely evaporated along with my fear of doing something by myself. I actually enjoy it more when I’m on my own. For some reason I feel like I connect to the art more when it’s just me because I’m giving it my undivided attention.
Moving past my fears and just doing things because I want to has been so rewarding and freeing. Instead of constantly worrying I just do and experience. The more time I spend with myself, the more comfortable I feel with myself. I am proud that I approach tasks head-on. Through all of my struggles, I finally feel like I have become more in touch with myself.
The more I grow up and evolve, the more have I learned that you should cherish that time you spend by yourself, with yourself – especially when you’re in the midst of figuring your life out. It is on those days when I am in my own company, forced to confront issues and problems, that I truly accomplish personal growth.
Sticky Situation 
Yes, this is so so important! It can sometimes be a bit of a steep learning curve I think x
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I agree! I think you just kind of have to learn as you go. There’s no “right” way to do it really, everyone will find their own balance. x
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Once you know how to stay with yourself you ll be at easy everywhere and with everybody.Sometimes we have to push ourselves a little and as much as it is uncomfortable at first then it pays off.😊
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So true. I’m trying to get to a place where I am 100% comfortable with doing things by myself, I think it’s just a process rather than overnight change. Thanks for reading ortensia 🙂
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❤️
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I really enjoyed this piece 🙂
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Glad you did, thanks for reading 🙂
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YES GIRL YES! This is actually one of my goals; I’ve started to enjoy doing things alone a lot more, but I’d still like to improve further 🙂 xx
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Saaaaame girl. I feel like I’ve made a lot of progress in the last couple of months but there are still certain situations where I’m not yet fully comfortable on my own. BABYSTEPS. xx
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Looove this, so glad to see people joining in the movement of enjoying your own company and being brave enough to do things by yourself – it’s a lot easier said than done! Super proud of you .xx
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So true, I think it is also dependent on the individuals personality. Some people feel a lot more comfortable straight away while others (like me) need a little time to adjust. Aw thanks chlo xx
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The first few times doing things by yourself *is* a little weird! I didn’t fully experience that until I was in my early 20’s and I moved overseas for a job for a year so I kind of had to do things by myself. Now I love it. Sometimes, when I’m feeling not quite like myself, I’ll take myself on what I call a “me date” haha! I get kind of dressed up, put a little more effort into my makeup, go out for lunch and then an art exhibit or something. It’s nice to just pamper yourself and, like you said, spend time with yourself doing something you enjoy.
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“Me Dates” – YES YES YES I like it! I think it’s sometimes good to get pushed out of your comfort zone, even if you may feel like you’re not ready for it yet. It forces you to grow.
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Yes totally! Growth is so important! 💛
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Independence!! 💖💖💖
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Exactly! xx
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I soooo needed this today! This evening I’m heading to an event completely solo (which I mentioned to you the other day), and this is a massive step for me. I’ve been thinking about it all day, feeling nervous and worried I’ll look awkward and no-one will want to speak with me. Just need to burst that big old comfort zone bubble!! It’s amazing that you’re engaging in spending time with yourself, here’s to doing things solo and getting to know ourselves!!xx
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Yes I remember! Aaahhh good luck! (not that you need it) I bet it will be great fun. I’ll be waiting for your recounting blog post!
I’ll drink to that – cheers! xx
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Oh my God you gosh you live alone?
Are you (God forbid)…. ADULTING?
HOW DOES ONE ADULT? TEACH ME THY WAYS!
I suppose you’ve learnt to become one of those people who want to be alone, but not lonely?
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I’m afraid so… *avoids all eye contact*
The thing is, I DON’T FREAKING KNOW. Sometimes I think everyone is just pretending to know. Maybe that’s the secret behind it?
I guess you could say that, I mean when I’m alone I definitely don’t feel lonely. It’s more of a sense of safety and security I think I am still after when it comes to public outings.
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I’m learning to push myself to go out and do things alone (ew, adulting) GOOD ON YOU! I hope I’ll get to where you are. Such an important message at the end ❤🌸
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It’s a looooong process – you’ll get there though girl! I also still have a long way to go. xx
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I love this post!! I really needed to hear this, gave me some ease of mind! Thanks so much for sharing!
XO, MK
https://mackenziekateri.com/
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Aw I’m glad I could help! Thanks for stopping by 🙂
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Having the ME Time is so important. I just got reminded of Bronte’s lines after reading your post. “I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself.”
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Such a beautiful quote. I’ll have to write that down! Glad you could relate!
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Oh yes beautiful words from a beautiful woman indeed! 🙂 🙂
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I never had an issue with doing things alone but I know how other perceive me when I do things by myself they think I’m a loner and sad but that’s not the case there’s a difference between being lonely and enjoying your solitude. I actually feel proud that I can do things by myself because others feel weird doing that.
I’m proud of you, it really means that you are being comfortable with being by yourself and it’s true everything that you pointed out here, everybody should really spend time with theirselves more because it is the time where you can figure yourself out more and love yourself more 😊
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“There’s a difference between being lonely and enjoying your solitude” – absolutely, yes! And it is something everyone should be proud of, as it’s something that not everyone has learnt to be comfortable with. It’s an amazing accomplishment in the self-love and -confidence department. I’m proud of you too!😊
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