Musings

a letter to an old friend

by stickysituation

Dear friend,

I wish I could give you a justified reason for not writing sooner. In all truth, it isn’t time (or a lack thereof) that has hindered me in responding to your last letter. Hectic it has been for sure, that and seetling back home again, but you know me – in that regard I haven’t changed; I have never been prone to stress as easily as others.

It pains me to have to write to you, not because of the act itself but more so because I cannot voice my thoughts and feelings to you in person. You will be pleased to hear that I still adore the art of letter writing very much, though I wish my handwriting were more controlled, if only to make my words more understandable to their recipients. Handwritten letters are one of the greatest joys, as they remind me of you.

I still fondly remember the times when we were merely 7 years old, writing secret coded letters to another, even if we were sitting next to each other. There is a place within me, a source of passion if you will, which was truly ignited only when we started to dabble in writing letters and stories, both short and long. There had been sparks before, of course, in early childhood especially.

How lucky we were to both have parents who encouraged our reading and writing so lovingly? Sometimes I like to think back to a time where my mother and father would read stories to me, one after the other, until, barely being able to keep my eyes open, I knew the story by heart. I would then (eager as I was) pretend to know how to read and recite those stories by heart whenever friends or relatives would visit. Being able to read and write is a gift so few of us, especially in our society, appreciate nowadays. But imagine being without that ability – what a very depressing world it would be.

To think that such a relatively small influence in my childhood sparked an interest in something so prevalent in my life today would have been unthinkable just a few years ago. But then again, thinking that we would ever be parted would have been a nightmare of a concept just a few years ago and now, here we are.

I do hope you are doing well. You look it -at least on Instagram- but what interests me more is hearing what is going on beyond the highlight reel featured on your page. I know, I know, what a terrible bold statement to make, especially after being in a state of radio silence for so long. I guess I just saw your most recent post and… missed you. Very dearly.

Nostalgia sure is a particular feeling. Oh well, at least I wrote this. Probably won’t have the courage to send it though.

Love, Fiona

15 thoughts on “a letter to an old friend”

  4. so well written you really have an amazing talent, you should definitely do more posts like this. definitely send the letter, I’m sure your friend would definitely appreciate it x

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  6. Wow, this was absolutely beautiful, and so moving. I could relate to it so well, having lost touch with countless friends over the years due to moving around a lot, and then seeing them on social media which makes me wish that we had somehow stayed as close as we were before I, or we, left.

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    1. Thank you, Arshia, you words (as per usual) mean a lot to me. Friendships are definitely something that come and go and sometimes, as much as you seem to try… people just drift apart (be it due to distance, loss of contact, or simply a natural pull in different directions).

      I think the important thing is to be thankful for everything you got to experience with those friends, all of the countless memories you share. Because in a way, the friendship will always live on in memory.

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  7. I am such a sucker to nostalgia. I miss the way things used to be, even though I know I am in a better place and surrounded by better people now. I think a small part of us will always want to remember the good times and forget the bad times. I am a firm believer that the people we know make us the people we are today so sometimes I like to say thank you to them, although never directly to them, because without them I would not be me. Hope that made sense! xx

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    1. It makes sense 100%. For me, I think the past (/nostalgia) is something I gravitate to a lot because I connect it with comfort. The past is safe, the future is unknown (which can be scary). Like you said, we will always be prone to looking back on good memories fondly, while forgetting the bad ones that sometimes had more of a lasting impact.

      I feel the same way as you, I believe (and this is becoming very existential) that after we die, we always stay with the people we got to know in the sense that we make up some part of who they are. And if they touch someone’s life, they’re giving some of that to the other person as well.

      It’s important to feel grateful for certain people, even people who might have left our lives in a negative way. But we still always learn something from it, we still grow from it and THAT is what makes us who we are.

      Oh wow, this is an absolute rambling mess so, just like you said – hope that made sense! 😉 xx

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